With January well underway, how are you feeling about 2022 and what it has in store for you?
If you are like most, you would have started the year with the hope that the disruption and uncertainty of Covid-19 would fade away as soon as possible.
Over the last couple of years, New Year resolutions have got a bad rap as most are abandoned within the first 3 weeks of January. Instead, the advice is that you choose goals that are sustainable and you are more likely to stick with in the long run. When you have been through a traumatic experience like cancer diagnosis, some of these “words of wisdom” represent a reality that you can no longer relate to.
I totally get it. Dealing with the cancer new normal is a journey that can often throw curveballs when you least expect. Let’s try a different approach.
Where are you headed this year and why? Yes, I know that’s one of those questions that someone asks and you feel like a deer caught in the headlights. No need to panic. Breathe…
One of the best pieces of advice I have received over the last few years is to start with the end in mind. By that I mean 31st December 2022. What are the things you want to have done or made room for by that date? If that’s too daunting or scary because of your current prognosis, replace the date with a more manageable one like 31st March 2022 (end of the first quarter). Starting with the premise that you want to thrive this year, you have to get a sense of your direction and desire.
At the start of any journey, it is important to know where you want to end up even though you have never been there before. This is why maps and navigational systems have been in use for millennia ensuring that in spite of adverse weather conditions people can re-route and find their way back to their desired destinations. How does this apply to your situation in practical terms?
Before you start, you need a journal as a reflective tool. Whether you use pen and paper (my personal preference) or an electronic device, ensure that you will not be distracted for at least half an hour.
Desire: your internal compass for thriving
When it comes to figuring out what kind of year you want, direction and desire are interwoven. Going back to the earlier question, for each area of your life, write down TWO things each that you want to have done or made time for by the date you have set. The different areas would include personal, professional, wellbeing and so on depending on the categories that you choose for your life. The point to bear in mind is not to neglect any part of your life. Don’t take too long on this part of the exercise – no more than 10 minutes.
To be clear, this is not an easy exercise to do and here’s why. When the chaos of cancer disrupts your life, it forces you to reassess what is important and what is not. The toll it takes on your body and mind can also temporarily rob you of your dreams. It can then be easy to slip into making do and not asking for too much of life. That is the definition of mere survival – a bland, colourless and dreary existence.
That is meant to be a bus stop. Don’t make it your destination!
The reality of life is that you can either live by default or intention. Going back to the journey analogy, imagine taking a boat out to sail without having any destination in mind. It is fair to say that the vessel would be at the mercy of the prevailing winds and currents. Before too long, it would be drifting aimlessly tossed every which way – an unsatisfactory place to be.
Looking at the list you have written, ask yourself another question: have these been shaped by outside circumstances OR your true desires ? If the answer is the former, ask yourself, “would I be happy if I stick with this list as it is?” If the answer is no, you can change and it is up to you to do so.
In order to get to a destination that is fulfilling, it is vital for you to be guided by the internal compass of what you desire. This is so important in the uncertain days that we are living in. There are paths that are okay for others but may be totally unsuitable for you. When there are multiple options to choose from, knowing what you truly want takes the stress out of decision-making.
The thing with outward circumstances or prevailing winds is that they are subject to change with little or no notice. The internal compass of what you truly desire is the best guide to keep you on course towards a thriving future.
That is the destination to aim for in 2022.