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New beginning tips for a fulfilling life after cancer diagnosis

New beginning tips for a fulfilling life after cancer diagnosis

Given the trajectory of 2020, majority of people were keen for the year to end for well-justified reasons. The chaos that the Covid-19 pandemic threw our world into was of the kind of magnitude we never expected.

For those impacted by cancer, it was a double whammy of stress that led to later diagnoses, disrupted treatments and isolation. The start of this year is has been welcomed with cautious optimism and hope of better living conditions as well as restoration of some of the things we took for granted.

Indeed, 2021 is a fresh canvas, a new beginning for all.

The truth though is that in similar ways to years gone by, wishful thinking is of no use to anyone. There needs to be planning backed by the right mindset if this would be a fulfilling new year.

No matter how cancer has impacted your life or that of a loved one; a satisfying life is one that you make room for not only with words but with reciprocal action too.

Sunrise

Sunrise by Jessica Ruscello – Unsplash

Here are a few pointers that are crucial if you want 2021 to be the kind of life that you desire:

  1. The power of a positive mindset

No matter where you are in your cancer new normal, it is important to know that the past is a place to learn from not where to put your focus. Despite the prognosis, treatment journey or mishaps in times past; 2021 offers a clean slate. You get to write on it what you genuinely want, and this begins with the kind of mindset you choose daily. Whilst you might have no control over some parts of the clinical journey, the thoughts you dwell upon as well as what you feed on are entirely your choice. I can tell you from experience that even in the darkest of times when I was faced with the loss of a loved one, that still holds true. My choice to recognise that it was a process that I can get journey through well with support was a game-changer

  1. The importance of a plan for fulfilment

What represents fulfilment and a satisfactory life varies from one person to the next. It is important for you to know what matters to you and write it down. You might be wondering why this is necessary after all, you might have seemingly simple wishes. As you have already figured out by now, the cancer journey is neither predictable nor fair whatever the measure you choose.

Your resolve to be positive, strong and hopeful would be tested to the limits. Not all days would be like that though. Be wise with the times when you are in a good space mentally and emotionally. Those are the moments to think carefully about what kind of future you want and steps you can take to get there. For example, if creating special memories with your loved ones matter to you, then make plans to do something about it. In these days of restrictions or lockdown, that might be a Zoom party to connect with your loved ones. The important thing is to start with what you have rather than bemoan what you do not.

  1. The place of self-care

Have you ever wondered why there are so many reminders for self-care including this current one? A Google search for the word would yield enough results to make your head spin. Here is the crux of the matter, in times of crisis, prioritising every aspect of your wellbeing often drops off the priority list due to other things competing for your attention. Physical health is given prime attention as it is seen as the most important one to address. That is a grievous mistake to make. Mental, emotional and psychological wellbeing are just as important – after all a deficit in any of those areas harms physical health too.

Person cutting tomatoes

Tomatoes by Max Delsid Unsplash

As you make plans to look after your physical health, make concrete plans to nurture other parts of your wellbeing as they all form part of the whole you. The reality of mental and emotional health struggles after diagnosis is very real. No one is exempt – whether you are a patient, ex-patient or loved one; look after yourself and do not be ashamed to ask for help if you need to. My favourite mantra is “asking for help is a sign of strength not of weakness”.

Be it professional help or your closest and dearest; find those with empathy to support you along the journey. That would lighten the load and help you to treasure the new beginning that each day in 2021 gives you. And so, you should because it is a precious gift indeed.

For more tips and tools to help you thrive after cancer; join the Be Inspired Newsletter community at: www.inspiredtosoar.co.uk

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Discover How To Soar After Being Impacted By Cancer

Discover How To Soar After Being Impacted By Cancer

If someone were to ask you to mention the first few words that come to mind after cancer diagnosis, it is fair to say that soaring would not feature at all. Words like: shock, devastation and sadness would be the usual suspects as they should.

There’s no denying that the disruption caused to patients and loved ones alike can be quite difficult as nothing prepares you for the chaos that ensues. The journey that follows is one that is unpredictable at best and harrowing at worst for all those involved. Cancer doesn’t invade in isolation, it has a major impact on all those who are connected to the patient.

With a lot of things out of control, it is crucial to remember that your response however is solely your choice. Whilst there is no sugar-coating the seriousness of the situation, your perspective shapes how you journey through your life as you now know it. Even though the thought of a vastly-different life to that which you envisaged is hard, acknowledging and accepting that is crucial to moving forward in a positive way.

People affected by cancer react in mainly two ways: either they are victims of circumstances or victors who push through difficulties with a great attitude. The latter group are those who refuse to be best friends with despair knowing that it has nothing good to offer.

Soaring in this context is choosing to have a higher perspective without being in denial of what is going on. Being fully aware of the current facts is important so that you know exactly the areas of life in which initial adjustments need to be made. That is the wise thing to do. From that point on, there are a few obstacles to rising above your circumstances that you need to be aware of.

Soar without limits

Soaring eagle by Mathew Schwartz of Unsplash

 

  1. Disappointment

It is human to feel let down and discouraged when life doesn’t turn out the way you expected it to be. In the case of cancer, this can run deep as it forces you to confront your own mortality or that of a loved one. The feelings of being robbed of opportunities to execute well-laid plans which have now flown out of the window – that can be quite painful. If care is not taken, the resulting sadness becomes your predominant thought which then chains you to the viewpoint of victimhood.

Disappointment would stop you from soaring because your perception would be one of disadvantage and helplessness. That could not be further from the truth. No matter how challenging things might be at present, there are always opportunities for positive experiences but only if you are prepared to seek them out. Rather than bemoaning what you have lost, take time to focus on that you have or can gain as a result.

These can include: being more intentional about nurturing relationships that matter, reigniting dormant dreams and making more meaningful use of time. There is something powerful about dreams especially in hard times; they give you a much-needed positive focus that boosts your spirits.

These all begin with a change in thinking that chooses to celebrate the good in the midst of the bad. Before you know it, you are not simply existing, you and your loved ones are thriving within your own context.

 

  1. Community

Show me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are.

– Vladimir Lenin

You are shaped by those who are closest to you whether for good or for bad. No human being is wired to function properly in total isolation. Communities therefore matter. When cancer hits, it becomes glaring who you have in your corner and what they are made of. If you are only surrounded by people with a victim mindset, it would be nearly impossible for you not to be the same way.

It is crucial for you to take inventory of those closest to you and how you feel after speaking to or being with them. If they encourage self-pity or shut down your efforts to be positive, you might want to find a community that serves you better. Let’s be very clear, being positive does not equate to being in denial.

Surround yourself with victors who would support your dreams but also love you enough to correct  you when required. Soaring after cancer is a courageous act but not a foolhardy one. You need people around you who understand the difference between the two and are willing to walk with you on that journey.

Ultimately, you have to accept that soaring after cancer is possible and that you want it for yourself.

I can assure you that having worn the various shoes of both patient and loved one; it is the best gift you can give yourself.

Get yourself in position, a thriving future awaits.

How To Build Momentum In Challenging Times

How To Build Momentum In Challenging Times

Deep within every human being is the desire to soar above the battles of life. In other words, each person wants to live a victorious life regardless of the challenges they face. Difficult seasons be they long or short can be so intense that you want to run away or avoid the pain as much as you possibly can. In the case of this Covid-19 pandemic, there is no escaping the disruption and impact on our daily existence.

The expectation that life will go back to what it used to be isn’t just unrealistic. It is a recipe for disappointment. Life as we all know it has changed.

This is the new normal.

You might be wondering why momentum matters with so much uncertainty ahead.

Given the changes that you have already experienced, it is crucial to remember that time doesn’t stand still whether you are in lockdown or not. The clock is always ticking as long as you are alive. Whilst there are things outside of your control, why not focus on what you can actually take charge of right now.

By this I mean your attitude and actions. The two go together hand in hand.

There is no doubt that at some point over the last couple of months, you have felt battered in some way be it personally or indirectly through the impact of Covid-19.

In order to build momentum, it is necessary to strengthen your wings that have taken a hit in this season. Ironically, difficult seasons provide the best opportunities to do just that in readiness for you to soar. You’re probably wondering what I’m on about and whether I have any idea how dire your situation has been.

The truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes. I do however know that, there is still a very small part of your heart that is reserved for soaring in order to fulfil some long-buried dreams.

You might not have any control over what life throws at you but you get to choose how you go through the journey. This is a not-to-be-missed opportunity of a lifetime if only you can embrace hope.

I have a few tips on how you can strengthen your wings right where you are

  1. Embrace the struggles and the pain

The daily grind of challenges often come with struggles and pain that you want to do your best to avoid or minimise. In terms of physical pain, there might be remedies or strategies that you have to take on board which goes against the grain as far as you are concerned.

Rather than protesting and chaffing at the hands that you have been dealt; do what is needful so that you can re-build your stamina as much as is feasible within your situation.

An example of this might be having to spend weeks or months resting when previously you are used to being constantly active. It is interesting that people who are super-productive often make the worst patients.

With respect to emotional and psychological pain; it is easier to put on a mask, pretending that things are progressing as they should. If you are like most, the outpouring of emotion and distress feels very uncomfortable.

Male or female, young or old, suppressing emotional pain only leads to more problems that will eventually trip you up when you least expect it. Don’t buy into the lie that the length of your recovery must follow a textbook pattern and time frame. Be honest with yourself and those around you.

PLEASE ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT!

It is a sign of strength not a weakness.

  1. Maintain a pleasant and grateful attitude

It can be challenging to maintain a good disposition at this time. Right now around you, it might seem that it doesn’t just rain, it pours. As much as possible though, it is important not to harbour resentment, bitterness, unrelenting anger or envy. Otherwise, the negative feelings within you become a poison that spreads toxicity around you.

Even though it might seem that your pain is unrelenting especially in the case of losing loved ones. It is important that even in grief, you hold on to the precious memories of the deceased. In that way, you can be grateful that you had the gift of those treasures that are now yours for keeps.

It is important to express your feelings but not be ruled by them.  This is not something that can be achieved speedily or by magic. You have to be intentional about it. You might find it useful to have truth-tellers who love you around to be like your mirror from time to time.

  1. Encourage or help someone else

No matter what has happened to you or what you’re currently going through; you can help or encourage someone else. You probably wonder whether this tip has any basis in reality as you view yourself needing help and support at present.

Don’t belittle the lessons of your tough seasons be they present or in the past. On reflection, there are things that you might be able to teach someone or ways that you can encourage because of where you have been.

Helping or encouraging others does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as picking up the phone to call or text someone to share strengthening experiences. In these days of social distancing, that can be a lifeline to the recipient. When you decide to serve others during your own trials; it has the effect of temporarily shifting your gaze from your own troubles. That in turn gives you a breather in the middle of your own journey – strength for tomorrow.

Note of caution: I am not suggesting that you neglect looking after yourself or take on board more than what you know you can handle. You know what your personal limits are. You also need to be wise regarding the kind of person you choose to have around you.

Don’t wait around while life is passing you by.

Be inspired to soar.